I suck at burpees, I don’t like them, they are no fun, why do I even do them... I hear this all the time, and I have said these same things myself from time to time.  What is the real issue here, is it the burpee itself?  Does the motion of throwing yourself to the floor, getting back up again, and repeating to infinity elicit so many negative feelings or is there something more.

 

When I was a B-52 pilot we we spend hours debriefing our sorties, our missions.  After landing from a 12+ hour sortie, the crew would get together and discuss how we did.  We would look at what went right, what went wrong, what went according to plan, what we had to change, and how we could improve next time.  This entire process began well before the sortie.  For each flight the crew would establish a set of objectives.  These objectives, or goals, are what we wanted to accomplish for the sortie.  Setting our objectives before each mission gave us a clear standard to measure how the sortie went.  An example objective for a B-52 crew is to be within +/- 2 minutes of an air refueling rendezvous.  This is a specific objective, with a measurable outcome.  As a crew, we knew what time our air refueling rendezvous would be, and we knew how long it would take us to fly from one point to another.  So we would be able to measure if we made it to the rendezvous within two minutes of our scheduled time.

So how does a B-52 air refueling rendezvous help me to get better at burpees?  I’m getting there, it’s a process, trust the process.  Back to the mission debrief, after the sortie we would look at the objectives and try to recreate the mission.  With our example of +/- 2 minutes to an air refueling rendezvous the crew will then measure how we did.  Let’s say our rendezvous time was scheduled for 0900:00z.  Our B-52 arrived at the rendezvous point at 0903:30z.  Did we meet our objective?  No, we were 3 minutes 30 seconds late.  Our goal was to be no more than 2 minutes early or late.  How do we fix this for the next time?  Well we need to get to the bottom of the problem — to the real issue of what made us late, or why we hate burpees.

 

For the B-52 crew this is where the true debrief begins.  This is where each objective is broken down and much like a curious toddler we continue to ask “Why?”.  Allow me to begin with:

 

Why I suck at Burpees

 

I start by listing all the reasons for me sucking at burpees.  List any and all reasons, nothing is outside of the scope of possibilities.  These reasons are not only physical, but also mental, and many of these reasons can be out of our control.  That’s ok, just remember to continually ask, why.

 

1. My lungs burn after 5
2. My muscles burn after 5
3. My ankle and lower back hurt while doing burpees
4. I want to throw up after 10
5. I have to slow down because I can’t breath
6. I just don’t want to do burpees

 

This list may not be every reason why, but try to give as many reasons as you can find.  As you go just write down everything you can think of.  Some of your reasons may be similar and can be combined (ie My lungs burn after 5 and I have to slow down because I can’t breath).  The idea is to get as many reasons why as you can, we can clean them up and combine them as you go.  Next I will keep drilling down to “Why” by breaking down each reason.

 

Why do my lungs burn after 5 burpees?

 

1. My cardio is weak
2. I didn’t sleep well last night
3. I had pizza for dinner last night
4. I’m stressed out at work

Here is where we get better at burpees.  I have a question as to why I suck at burpees.  My first response is because my lungs burn after completing 5 burpees.  Now I will look at my reasons and find solutions to fix each issue.  This is where you coach comes in.  Your coach will be able to look at each reason and help you find a fix and put a solution in place.

 

My Cardio is weak

 

I haven’t worked out in 5 days.  Coach’s solution, make working out a priority.  Arrange your schedule so that you can make 3-4 workouts per week.  Talk with your coach about proper scales to keep pushing your cardiovascular endurance and stamina.  

 

The debrief doesn’t end here.  We want to look through each reason after drilling down as far as we can and get to the root of the problem.  We want to find out what is truly causing me to suck at burpees.  After I have found a fix for each reason, excuse, or problem my coach and I will need to take a hard look at the issues presented.  The main reason I suck at burpees may be that I had pizza for dinner last night, which led to me not sleeping well.  I was groggy and my stomach was upset which led to my lungs burning after 5 burpees.  For my burpee issue it is based on my nutrition.  I have plenty of fixes to work on, including getting in more workouts per week or practicing burpees but the root of “Why I suck at burpees” is because I had eaten poorly.

 

This debrief can be applied to anything we do, all you need is a goal.  If you goal is your first muscle-up or to run a 3:30 marathon you can apply these principles with your coach and determine how to get better at whatever it is.  All I ask is that you take an honest assessment of where you are and where you want to be.  

 

 

WHY I SUCK AT BURPEES

 

1. My lungs burn after 5, I can’t breath and have to slow down
   1. My cardio is weak — Make working out a priority, strive for 3-4 days per week
   2. I didn’t sleep well last night —Set up a routine, aim to get in bed to allow for 8 hour of sleep
   3. I had pizza for dinner — Meal plan and prep food ahead of time
   4. I’m stressed out at work — Workouts can help reduce stress - ref note 1
2. My muscles burn after 5
   1. I haven’t worked out much lately — Ref notes above
   2. I don’t want to keep working — Stay engaged mentally, you can push through more than you think
   3. Everything hurts —Ref above, stay engaged
3. My ankle and lower back hurt while doing burpees
   1. Traumatic injury & multiple surgeries —Mobility work, and scaling options
   2. Movement pattern is poor — Ref Mobility and scales
4. I want to throw up after 10
   1. Ref #1 — Ref above
5. I just don’t want to do burpees
   1. They are no fun — It takes hard work to reach your goals
   2. They hurt — Remember why you started on this fitness journey
   3. I’m tired — Ref your reason why

*Yellow – Coaches Comments